SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS LOGIC

Today I don't want talk so much. I know you guys are lazy around reading a lots of articles. So, here the story begin when I couldn't sleep on 2.30 in the morning. Somethings have wrecked havoc in my life.  Thus, I found these makes me laugh.

CINTA ISLAM

Syafiq tersedar bangun apabila azan berkumandang. Dia melangkah keluar dari katil dan menuju ke bilik mandi. Melihat cermin lalu mengambil wuduk. Kemudian, dia menunaikan solat subuh. Dia berdoa dengan kusyuk sekali. Menghayati setiap perkataan doanya. Dia bangun dan melipat sejadah lalu memerhati dirinya di cermin.


Syafiq : Aku yakin aku boleh pikat Aisya.

Dia mengambil beg galas lalu ke kedai Starbucks. Dia menunggang motor ke sana. Apabila sampai ke destinasi. Dia berdoa agar berjalan lancar. Di situ, Aisya sedang sibuk bekerja. 


Syafiq : Cantiknya Aisya

Dengan muka yang berputih bagai salji. Memakai tudung bergaya al hana tajima. Mentutup aurat dengan sempurna. Senyuman manis menyerikan wajahnya.


Syafiq : Assalammualaikum

Aisya : Waalaikumsalamwarahmatullah. Eh syafiq ? Selamat pagi!

Syafiq : Selamat pagi. Ha amboi, kenapa bahagia hari ni ?

Aisya : Hidup mestilah happy. Hehe. So, awak buat apa kat sini?

Syafiq : Emm... Sebenarnya ada hajat datang sini.

Aisya : Apa dia?

Syafiq : Sebenarnya....

Jantung syafiq mula bergetar. Panik mula memakan dirinya. Suspen membuat lidahnya kelu.


Aisya : Sebenarnya apa Syafiq ?

Syafiq : Sebenarnya...

Aisya : Em ?

Syafiq : Sebenarnya...Saya...nak...

Aisya : Awak mahu coffee ya ?

Syafiq : Eh tak! TAK ! Bukan lah.

Aisya : Then?

Syafiq : Sebenarnya..

Aisya : Sebenarnya apa !

Syafiq : Saya nak kahwin dengan awak!

Aisya : APA !

(To be continued...)

ANNOUNCEMENT OFFICIAL ACCOUNT DELETE!

   Living in the internet where the most generations want to share their music, social new friends, chase popularity and others. But for me, these social website doesn't hooked up benefits at all and it's like competition to race whose won whose loose. It's like sports competition. Followers, Retweets, Likes, Comments...ALL OF THIS WHAT TEENAGERS CHASED FOR. THIS DAMN CRAP. It makes me my REAL life ends to suffer and these are ridiculous, absurd , nonsense....Should I say more ?

All I want is to meet new friends, to forge up my creativity and also to improve my communication skills. But it doesn't...It makes my life getting worse.. It makes ALL PEOPLE worse. They didn't have time to spend their studies, didn't concentrate on works, wasting their rubbish for popularity. I mean, what did you get all of these ? Did you got money on these ? Did you scored for your result UPSR, PMR or SPM ? Did it helped for your studies ? 

                                                      NO!!!!

It doesn't helped you too improve at all. I wish these so called social network never exist, so we could meet each other , doing a lot of benefits stuff, to forge sports and studies. How I miss those years without these craps.

So, I decided to delete my account twitter and Facebook to fall in real life and improve my credibility become a good person. I , Ikmal , hereby to announce that my official account will be delete in 21 April sooner.

WOMEN OF THE YEAR PART 3

The Women Of The Year candidate no.2

Amira Azman

Introduction:

Ah the sweet-mother of malaysian is a WORTH treasure men could get. Her attaractive and most "cuteness" smile could probably make all men melt easily-deezy like an ice cream vanilla. Oh, and this YOUNG madame over here is an obsessive on Korea things and plus, has a caring-precious heart than other girls. You might be consider awareness before BREAKING HER HEART. OR YOU'RE SHALL BE MISERY I TELL YOU..... She's a valuable to have it BUT....cost expensive to afford it. I would like to say if anybody got "lucky" to have her, he's a truly man and deserve a WELL-HAPPINESS relationship untill marriage. Woot woot! Why am I saying that? Let's go shall we? :

Looks: 7/10

It seems your point as same as Farihah. But as you can see her "innocent" face indeed. But I warn you: Don't you ever judge a book by its cover!

Style: 8.9/10

First look, cute as Doraemon

Second look, Hana Tajima

Third look, Angelina Jolie (except angelina doesn't wear tudung...)

Amira dresses in a way that befits a model of stature for her.

Attitude: 7.8/10

Uuulalaa, this seniorita as far as I know her. She might a little bit like an angry mob if you ACCIDENTALLY MAKE HER MAD...but with a bit of luck,  right words,  make Amira become more friendlier than ever. Just stick your head on the game.

Overall :79%

Holy cow!!!! It's huge number what I expected ! No other other girls could legacy her "cuteness" and "psycho-ness" inside Amira. That must be why she been nominated the Woman Of The Year. How outstanding if YOU boys easily get her on your hand :D

WOMEN OF THE YEAR PART 2

The Women Of The Year candidate no.2

Farihah Farah

Introduction:

There's no one feistier than this girl right here. She looks like a horny gal, but actually knows how to take care of herself. (Im not saying shes actually horny, but... well, we dont know do we? x) While not REALLY having the height, (even though she dreams to be something like Giselle Bundchen) but she can still amaze us men with her constant way of "bahankan" orang. Another AMAZING skill of hers, is her ability to change into her "womanly" form and "ganas" form with ease, which makes her easily fit in into society. An amazing girl indeed, but we will see how she performs ;)

Looks: 7/10

What can i say? Daddy's little girl is all grown up. From a... well, um... how do i put this, ahah!

From a bookworm, she morphed into a pretty butterfly. While not able to stun like Izreen, she is able to SLOW DOWN men, a very incredible gift if you ask me.

Attitude: 9/10

Woo, most people relate her to "sweet" and "nice." Yeah, because of her attitude is what make her seem more attractive. Her looks and attitude have this great chemistry, resulting in a more chic and ravishing Farihah Farah.

Overall: 74%:

Well, her scent is still foreign to me, I dont really know her scent that well, but seeing as people tend to get closer to her MUST mean something right? You might be sure aware before you want to know her. Well, she is so called a wild women, does she? Just be sure you need two things. A Luck and A God.  Haha :D

WOMEN OF THE YEAR PART 1

Alright, during the guys' contest, quite a number of people were asking me on doing one form of contest SPECIALLY for the girls. Amazingly, it was actually a GREAT idea, and so, from now and a few more coming your way, I will be talking about the LADIES for a change. To all you men out there, these are THE TOP TIER LADIES, I mean, they have it all... physically and mentally. They will make you stop for 1 second just to get a short glimpse of them. Men, enjoy. :)

Woman Of The Year Candidate No. 1

Izreen Farain

Introduction:

Ahhh, hahaa, the "sweetheart" as I can say, a woman of class and style, she captivates the hearts of men as easy as fooling Fahmy into thinking we were watching Pandorum. All grown up from a cute, innocent girl, to now a stunning, "holy shit, who is that!?" girl. Having the height of normal femalea, an athletic body, white skin, and long legs (ooh la la), no wonder she is nominated as one of the candidates for The Woman Of The Year. But remember, its not JUST the physical that matters, its what in the inside that matters as well. So, man read up :

Looks: 9/10

Ah man, the looks of like, "Perempuan Melayu Terakhir" she makes men melt at the sight of her. Almost like a counterpart of Fahmy, whom she makes men VERY EAGERLY want to talk to her. And thus, the "hotness" factor kicks in. Plus she looks like Cameron Diaz... at times.

Style: 8.8/10

Nice legs, Dais Dukes makes a man go (wootwoot)

White face, Double D's makes a man go (wootwoot)

*Diambil dan diubahsuai daripada lirik Startstrukk - 3oh!3

She has all the above, EXCEPT DOUBLE D (HHAHAHA)

Attitude: 10/10

Ahh yeah. Her "motherly" nature plays A VERY BIG PART in this. Able to create this weird effect on certain men, wanting them to protect her from danger, plus with her SUPER communication skills, she is a force to be reckoned with. This is where she practically PWNS.

Overall: 82%

Hoho, the "hotness" factor plays a BIG part in this ladies repertoire. She has a superb early game, able to make men actually WANT to talk to her and flirt with her, of course with most ending in vain. She is a hard-to-get kind of girl, like what Inspector Clousseu said;

"A women's heart is like an artichoke, you have to work hard, so that you can get to her heart."

MOST ELIGIBLE BACHELOR PART 5

Bachelor no.5

Fakha

Ah yes, it's always nice to see old friend again. Old friend certainly do change over time. Go ahead, try to know him. But before you getting into the "Assalammualaikum, nama awak siapa?" niceties, let's backtrack a bit. This lanky lad has certainly a huge fan of Everton. He's quite charmer when it comes to the ladies. He's well have A GREAT sense of humour like Arif Muhaimin. He is a friend that we can say a "hero" when you have a problem.

My Verdicts :

Looks: 9.2/10

What can I say from my mouth ? The charmer always gets into highest mark. This trendy guy needs a little attractive to reach full mark. Yes, indeed I can say.

Style: 8/10

Not bad when it come's to fashion. Just wear that so called "Paddini" "Topman" and other branded clothes these days. But most of the time he likes to wear Everton sport jersey where ever he goes.

Attitude: 8.2/10

This old friend that we can say have jokes that can entertain everyone around. Don't go over makes he mad or you will definitely make a worse mistake of your life. TEHEEE :D

Confidence: 8/10

Ah, what superbly confidence that he has . He can show what he got it takes. He has no fear to extremely things that might give a chaos to him. What a brave man, ain't right ?

Overall: 83.2%

The joy moment when we heard this lad got a nicer marks. If he can make a great opportunity to work his flaws , he might be concern become a winner of MOST ELIGIBLE BACHELOR in this contest... 

*REMEMBER, THIS IS BASED ON FEEDBACKS GIVEN TO ME FROM GIRLS THEMSELVES, AND A LITTLE BIT OF MY OPINION, I WISH FOR NO HARD FEELINGS ON THIS, BECAUSE THIS IS ALL FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES.*

MOST ELIGIBLE BACHELOR PART 4

Bachelor no.4

  (Epic Face...) LOL

Ikmal Hanafi

Introduction:

Hahaha, intro first before we know this lad. This epic fail male is Ikmal and this guy got nothing to do but spending a lot of precious time doing humanity environment things and create unofficial media website. Most of he's attitude not MOSTLY easily pull women's attention. We can say as LOSER, an ASSHOLE or DOUCHEBAG by his cover. But he can be friendly enough when you know him deeper and gives full part attention to him. This well charm unattractive bachelor has got what it takes... :)

Looks: 8/10

Well, honestly this early bird don't have a power of "chick magnets" or so called attractive. We can see his smooth and nice-friendly by his face. But don't ever fall his "innocent" face. Start to know him immediately.

Style: 6/10

Yes indeed, this sir has the lowest style of others bachelor. He just being an "average joe" . His not quite update fashion geek but he simply wear dress that's fit comfortable and match by his size.

Attitude: 9/10

Ah his attitude may can be accepted by most of the community. He's can we say "Not Bad lah..." to me. Haha

Confidence: 8/10

This lad here loves to-do things what people do. He doesn't show off his skill to the people how great he is. But we can say welcome for him :)

Overall: 80%

Nice 80% just as simply average count what we can say. Thats all :)

MOST ELIGIBLE BACHELOR PART 3

Bachelor no 3

Fahmy Farzarnor

 Most of you might think this guy as annoying, irresponsible, an asshole, and so on, but actually he CAN be quite a charmer. At one point of his life, he WAS THE CUTEST thing the girls HAVE EVER SEEN. I mean, they go like, "OMG, comelnye that guy..." and so on. And yeah, when they knew him in the beginning, it was all smooth sailing, but, now... Um, he's becoming a man you can say. This lanky lad is the one of fanatic football like others. His team football life in his mind is Manchester City who are coached by Roberto Manchini.


My Verdicts :

Looks: 9.2/10

Woohoo, this guy is on the border of charmer ... thus giving him a 1 in a 15 kind of look in a guy. He can attract with his "cuteness" factor, and make them stay his his "handsome" factor. Amazing early game ;)

Style: 9/10

Being a healthy weight, his body is not the skinny type, nor the build type, but just nice. People just love to hug him, because of his nice plump body. (hahaa, some men.) So, his choice of clothes are somewhat suitable for his body type, thus making him look great and amazing.

Attitude: 7/10

This is where he loses his ground. Man, he is just so annoying (at times) that maybe the girl just cant stand him. But he is only annoying to other men, thanks to his constant cursing and foul language. But, I believe he is quite the ladies man, we just dont know it.

Confidence: 8/10

Holy Crap. 8 out 10 is pure magical. He is definitely out of his mind when doing something he wants. He's a "do it or not do it" type person who want to do perfect things. When comes to the girl, he changes automatically into casanova or romeo ? This guy, we can say brave heart who doesn't fear to attract girls. Bravoo amigos.

Overall: 78%

Ah, this male lacks attitudes which is his ONLY downfall, he is the MOST UNIQUE out of all the other Bachelors, able to attract and hold (hold, meaning keeping the girl there. Some guys just attract but then soon repel) with his looks, and WOW them with his style. If he works on his communication skills, he will be a great guy to hang out with, and an amazing date (for the girls) Good job for Fahmy.

*REMEMBER, THIS IS BASED ON FEEDBACKS GIVEN TO ME FROM GIRLS THEMSELVES, AND A LITTLE BIT OF MY OPINION, I WISH FOR NO HARD FEELINGS ON THIS, BECAUSE THIS IS ALL FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES.*

MOST ELIGIBLE BACHELOR PART 2

Bachelor No.2

Arif Muhaimin

Introduction:

Oh, the amazing product of a true blue malaysian to the core (with a bit of Indonesia) he is a man of unique characteristics. Usually, humans when they are original, they are "a little bit better" than others who are not THAT mixed. But all humans have pros and cons right? This male is just another example of a SUPER first impression, which leaves the girl stunned for like 1 second during the first sight. He has the "hotness" factor, a cousin to the "cuteness" and "adorable" factor, he is on the same level with the people in the Bollywood industry (well, a small fraction of them). As you know, this young fella has truly inspirational sense of humour that can create boring environment into the explode laugh. This one hardcore Paramore's fan. And also die hard in the glorious united team that is Manchester United.

Looks:7/10

His early game is not that good, as his face drowns in the midst of other men around him, making it hard for him to attract women, but if he takes of his clothes... :)

Style: 6.8/10

Being an average joe, he doesn't like to show off what he has. Just keeping it cool and humble. Only starting from now, his game is getting better.

Attitude: 10/10

Yes, a PERFECT 10. He can melt ANY girls heart with the right timing and condition. An amazing communicator, he practically OWNS at this time of the game, making his foes rendered useless with his AMAZING talking skills. Easy to talk to, and very outgoing, now wonder the girls always want to talk to him when they have the chance.

Confidence: 5.5/10

So much for early game dominance, when it comes down to it, his confidence level is REALLY LOW. He wont talk to the girl. UNLESS he knows her SOMEHOW i.e classmates, schoolmates, sister's friend. Besides that, he is a very first impression kind of guy. He sees you wearing a singlet while going out, with short pants, straight away "slut" is given, and interest gone.

Overall: 78%

Wootwoot, he is the PINNACLE of EARLY GAME DOMINATION, his looks and style will BLOW YOU AWAY, but after that, when you know him closer, the feeling deteriorates. (If youve seen his gay side, it will deteriorate EVEN faster) All he needs to do, is sharpen his communication skills, and its all good. A bigger player potential than Arif Muhaimin, but his fondness of love is not even close to 10%.

*REMEMBER, THIS IS BASED ON FEEDBACKS GIVEN TO ME FROM GIRLS THEMSELVES, AND A LITTLE BIT OF MY OPINION, I WISH FOR NO HARD FEELINGS ON THIS, BECAUSE THIS IS ALL FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES.*

MOST ELIGIBLE BACHELOR PART 1

All right, for this post and the next few that are coming your way, im gonna talk about the Most Eligible Bachelor in Shah Alam. These men here are all single, so all you ladies who've always wanted a man by their side, these are the top tier men, that's why they are called the Most Eligible Bachelor. Allright, each man will be judged with EVERY SINGLE aspect that makes a womans heart flutter. Men, read up!

Bachelor No.1 !

Adi Hani

Information:

Ah, a man of mixed specialty, he has grown from a fat cocoon to a noble contender in this Bachelor contest. He has a built in female attract system, thanks to the high pitched voice, something like Justin Bieber. Amazingly, this system ACTUALLY works on some women, thus calling him "cute", or "adorable". But, who cares about all this physical systems if the emotional systems are not as good? He's is the one psycho fans in football especially when it comes to English Premiere League, thus definitely comes to his mind one team : "THE GUNNERS" . This bachelor has got what it takes superbly got flying colours for SPM. Don't judge him quickly before you know him. Or you will got smacks by the bonzer.

My Verdict:

Looks: 8.5/10

Something young and cute, usually gets the girls to come, but not stay for long. But still, its a powerful chick magnet.

Style: 7.5/10

Trying to wear all those shirts that say "Muscle Fit" helps, but... theres a reason its called "Muscle Fit."

Confidence: 9.5/10

Hell yeah, this guy fears no one but God and Cikgu Saiful (if he had ever done anything wrong in school) He practically can know ANY girl in a matter of minutes, only needing a little bit of information of the girl, then, PURE OWNAGE. :)

Overall : 85%

Oh man, Adi Hani is a formidable foe indeed! (To other bachelors soon to come) His "awesomeness" mostly comes from first impressions, and the first impressions are the things that make or break him. If he gets it right the first time, he doesn't have to worry about the second. A potential player, but chooses to go to the more romantic side of love and less bad active side, he is possibly the Most Eligible Bachelor of Shah Alam for the year 2012.

Jangan Bunuh Lalat-lalat itu....

Holep, tersebutlah perlatan Bidan Ikmal , bermulanya al-kisah di Kampong Bukit Gajah Duduk di mana rakyatnya dipanggil rakyat jelata. Sembilan kali bulan bertukar bulan, bermulanya ciretera Tun Adi. Maka bidan Ikmal a.k.a. Hang Kasturi Epal dipanggil ke istana Sultan Joseph Kony III. Maka Sultan Joseph Kony III empunya istana sebesar kuali Nyonya Kitchen.

  Setelah kemarinya datang Hang Kasturi Epal dilihatnya masuk oleh dayang-dayang raja iaitu Hang Fahmy, Hang Fakha, Hang Arif dan Hang RafiqM. Maka sembahlah Hang Kasturi Epal di hadapan raja.

 "Why you call me, O'good king?" sebutnya Hang Kasturi dalam bahasa setengah rojak baru direbus dengan maggi . Maka Hang rafiqM selaku penterjemah raja sejurus menterjemahkan kepada rajanya. Murka tidak murka rajanya amarah kerana sesungguhnya bidan sebelum ini telah terjun ke dalam kolam renang akuatik. Maka Hang Kasturi Epal dijadikan sebagai penggantinya. "Tuan hambalah harapan beta untuk melahirkan cahaya mata beta pada hari ini," titah raja Joseph Kony.

    Maka di dalam kamar itu terpaparlah Permaisuri Katy Perry di atas katil sedang berselimutkan kain rentang. Maka tiba-tiba, Hang Mangkuk muncul dari belakang langsir Ikea memegang marker di tangan kanannya. Maka markernya di baling ke arah tingkap lalu pecahlah tingkap itu kerna diperbuat kaca.

    "Wahai orang istana, tidakkah kamu tahu bahawa anak ini dijanjikan kejayaan?" teriak Hang Mangkuk. "Hendaklah kamu semua menamakan anak ini Justin Bieber bin Abdul. Jika tidak, akan ku cincang-cincang kamu semua!!"kata Hang Mangkuk membuka langkah silat.

   "Cis, tidak akan beta menamakan anak ini Justin Bieber." titah Hang Kasturi Epal. Maka sepantas kilat , dengan menggunakan ilmu yang dipelajarinya di pondok belakang rumah iaitu ilmu Hisab tambahan, Hang Kasturi Epal melepaskan beberapa das tembakan daripada jarinya ala-ala James Bond. Maka rebahlah Hang Mangkuk.

   Maka susana di istana menjadi riuh kemudian sepi pula apabila bayi dilahirkan tiba. Maka bayi tersebut diselimutkan lalu diazankan oleh Raja Joseph Kony. Bayi diletakkan di atas kerusi dan ditaburkan beras ke atas perutnya tanda perutnya yang besar. Maka bayi ini diberi nama Tun Fernando Torres. Maka bayi sihat itu dilihat cembuuru oleh Hang Kasturi Epal. Maka Hang Kasturi Epal menculiknya tetapi raja kembali murka. Maka raja Joseph Kony mengamuk di istana dan Hang Kasturi Epal terdiam buat seketika.

   "Wahai Bidan Ikmal a.k.a Hang Kasturi Epal a.k.a Colin Farrel, kamu telah durkaha, maka dijatuhkanlah hukuman bunuh bagimu!" titah raja. Dengan menggunakan kuasa Doraemon , Hang Kasturi Epal disumpah menjadi lalat. Lalat itu terbang lalu berak di mata raja Joseph Kony. Maka tinggallah dua tahi lalat di matanya. Maka mungkinlah tahi itu boleh ditanggalkan suatu hari nanti jika menggunakan teknologi laser, tetapi kesedihan di dalam hati rakyat jelata tidak boleh ditanggalkan.